


Tony's chair

by Halfling



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Thor (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfling/pseuds/Halfling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki enjoys messing with Tony's head. And the rest of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony's chair

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my [tumblr](http://halfsuper.tumblr.com/) at the request of [desustrider](http://desustrider.tumblr.com/).

Tony was accustomed to occasionally seeing things. It wasn't the product of insanity. He just considered it as nature's little reminder to get a couple hours of sleep every few days, and maybe eat something besides chlorophyll smoothies and a cheeseburger here or there.

Tonight, however, was a different story. Nothing exciting was going on, so Tony was tinkering with the Iron Man suit in his lab as usual. The first unusual thing he noticed was how his chair seemed to keep moving around the room by itself. He would stand up to fetch a particular tool or gadget from a shelf, and when he turned back around to sit again it would be on the other side of the room. At first, he chalked it up to Dummy malfunctioning, or his own tired imagination, but when it ended up on top of one of the work tables he knew something was definitely up.

"Okay, Jarvis. Am I losing my mind or is my chair possessed?"

"Your chair does seem to have a mind of its own tonight, sir." Jarvis responded promptly.

"And you didn't feel the need to inform me before now?"

"My apologies, sir. I assumed you had blessed it with robotic components like the incident with the smoothie maker."

"As hilarious as that was I'm not eager for a repeat, no. Is there anyone in the lab besides me?"

"Not that I can detect, sir."

"Hmmm." Tony stared at the chair where it stood, daring it to move again while he could witness it. Five minutes passed with no movement from the chair. Finally, Tony decided stranger things had happened and retrieved the chair from the table. When he turned around to sit in it however, he went through air and fell with a crash on his ass.

"Jarvis!" He yelled from the floor, "Scan the lab. Now."

"What am I looking for, sir?"

"Anything. Energy signatures where they shouldn't be, magnetic waves with no obvious source, anything."

Tony got to his feet, rubbing where he'd hit the floor and looking around for his chair. This time it was upside down, hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling. Before he could figure an easy way to get it down, Jarvis spoke up again.

"I am registering something interesting, sir. But I'm unsure what, exactly, to call it."

"You can't be more definitive than 'interesting'?"

"It doesn't appear to follow known laws of physics."

The implication hit Tony like a slap to the face. "Fuck. LOKI!"

The air was suddenly filled with a chorus of laughter that unmistakably belonged to the God of Mischief. "Wondered when you'd catch on, little mortal. For one lauded as such a genius, you sure can be thick."

"Yeah, well, here on Earth, magic isn't exactly a first assumption when chairs misplace themselves."

"It certainly should be, most of the time it _is_ my doing."

"Doesn't a god have better things to do?"

Loki finally appeared in the flesh in front of him, dressed in human clothes that mirrored Tony's own. "I'm insulted. I believe the look on your face when you fell on your ass was more entertaining than any of the little 'television shows' you all seem to love so much. I can show you if you like!" Loki's visage went blurry a moment, then in his place stood a perfect replica of Tony Stark. He mimicked Tony as before, bending down as if to sit, realizing there was nothing behind him to sit on, and wildly flailing his arms out in front of him as a desperate attempt to avoid the inevitable.

Loki was right, the look on his face was priceless, not that Tony would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that. He was enough of a smug bastard already. "Very funny, Loki. Now change back."

"What, don't like what you see? Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss yourself?"

"Can't say that I have, no."

"Well now that's a lie. Come on," Loki-as-Tony stood up and walked over until he was an inch from the real Tony's face, "give us a kiss?"

"I'm busy, Loki." Tony turned around and pretended to fiddle with a nearby hologram.

"You most certainly are not." Loki suddenly appeared back as himself where the hologram had been, so that Tony's hands, which had been manipulating it, were now pressed against Loki's chest. "Why don't you want to have fun?"

In a blink, Loki's clothes were gone, and Tony pulled his hands away fast as he could. "I'm being stalked by a horny god. Today seriously could not get any more fucked up."

Loki chuckled darkly. "Oh, be careful what you wish for, mortal."

Tony blinked again, and they were now in Tony's room. Tony was naked, and an equally naked Loki was pushing him back onto the bed. "Okay. Point taken. Look, if I give you a handjob, will you leave me alone and let me get back to work?"

Loki seemed to contemplate this for a moment. "Not satisfactory. We haven't been intimate in weeks, don't you miss me?"

"Much as I enjoy our twisted little encounters, I really was planning on getting some good work done tonight. Blow job? Final offer."

"Quicky and I let you be as rough as you want?"

"Blow job or nothing."

"Can we at least cuddle afterwards?"

"For no longer than ten minutes."

"Deal."

They shook on it, and Tony got to work. When he was done, they cuddled as promised, with Tony stroking Loki's hair and wondering how he got into this utterly fucked up relationship in the first place.

"You enjoy it," Loki's voice was muffled by Tony's chest.

"What?"

"My powers may not include telepathy, but you are incredibly easy to read just the same. One day you'll realize it. I see my ten minutes are up, so I'll leave you to your work. Until next time!" He winked, and was gone.

Tony fished some clean clothes out of his drawers and headed back to the lab. His chair was waiting for him right where it should be. There was a note taped to it, and when he got closer he could read the elegant script: " _A parting gift, just say 'seat' and watch the magic happen!_ "

Already decided he was probably going to regret this, he said aloud, "Seat." The chair in front of him became suddenly animated, zooming around and scooping him off his feet so he was sitting on it. He vowed to replace the magic it more reliable mechanics later, but for now it wasn't such a bad thing.

"We'll see, Loki. We'll see," he whispered as he delved into work once more.


End file.
